After three hours of procrastination I decided to check out a video mum linked me to. It was about a boy who was born blind, but is musically gifted, to put it simply. Musicians will recognise this as the extremely rare talent of being able to play back a melody upon hearing it once, which is what he appears to have. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xwCG0Ey2Mg
This reminded me of Nick Vujicic, a man born without arms and legs. The old video is still on Youtube, and it’s extremely heartwarming to read that he’s now married with a child.
There’s the saying that “There’s always someone worse off than you.”, which I’ve struggled with for a long time. The first question was ‘Well…what about the person who is worst off out of everybody else in the whole world?’. The second question was whether it meant that my, or our (referring to us ‘normal’ people here) problems are ultimately trivial.
Right before starting to write this post it hit me that it doesn’t mean that our problems are completely trivial – I’d always struggled to try and conclude whether it meant ‘fully trivialised’ or ‘not trivialised at all’. The way I see it now is that we can view problems on some kind of scale, sure there are the small problems which are trivial and some to the point of being extremely superficial (e.g. “MUM GOT ME THE WRONG COLOUR CAR FOR CHRISTMAS”), and then there are some deeper problems which, well, could be anything. So I’ll use myself as an example to give you guys some perspective.
My hearing impairment, well, it’s a hearing impairment. It’s still a thorn in my side, I have no doubts that it’ll pretty much be a lifetime thorn in my side until I acquire ‘normal’ hearing. The thing is, it doesn’t affect my day-to-day activities at University due to both an accepting community and technology/services that make my experience much more accessible (and dare I say it, ‘normal’).
I’ll be honest here, sometimes during my weak moments I still get frustrated. I’m sure everyone does. They’re the moments we don’t want anyone else to see (save for say, a trusted partner or such). They’re the moments where we lash out, we take out our anger, we wish we could pin the blame on someone or something, we wish we had full control of the situation, the list goes on.
And you know what? That’s okay. That’s perfectly okay. For me, it reminds me that I’m human, and that I’m not perfect, despite my perfectionist tendencies. What’s not okay is letting these negative thoughts get the better of me, to the point that I lash out at other people.
So what does it mean, acceptance? To be honest, I don’t know. I suppose for me ‘acceptance’ is just knowing that ‘it happens’, or ‘shit happens’, and the real battle is dealing with it.
Honestly, I don’t like it too much, because the best way to stop a problem is to prevent it from happening in the first place. But there’s no way I can prevent circumstances that are outside of my control. So learning to deal with it is the next best, but unfortunately the harder step.
It’s funny when I reflect on things growing up. Things just seemed really hard, and like every other person I gradually realised that there’s just a lot of incompetent people out there. Cynical? Yep.
Now? I guess I’m better at dealing with it, and am familiar enough with these things that I’ve come to accept it as normal. After all, that’s how the world is, and I’m certainly not ambitious enough to want to try to change the world. What I can do though is try to make life better for the people around me.